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"Spend the rest of your life being happy" -Marlys

Life is short. Having recently lost my mother (and best friend), I feel like a kite in the wind- not sure whether I will fly high, or crash and burn. 

Caregiving was the most important and meaningful experience of my life- far exceeding any other aspirations I could ever seek. Yet, the pain of the closed chapter hurts. Grief is nothing one can rush through. That has been glaringly obvious. Give me more time to nap. Allow me to isolate. Pour me a chardonnay. Help me avoid seeing all of the foods in the supermarket that my mom loved...

As I look at photos of my mom, and replay her wish for me to spend the rest of my life "taking care of number one", I am challenged to determine what that entails, exactly. Becoming accustomed to sacrificing time and energy and emotion, I am in now in a self-imposed rehab, attempting to figure out which gifts of mine to give the world next. 


Recently, my family took a much needed vacation to Bermuda, my "happy place"- to recharge after some serious losses- not limited to my mother's death. Much to our delight, we were uplifted to an extent that surprised us all. We smiled, we laughed, we sang, we lived. As I recall saying upon our arrival in Bermuda, "let's live the way Marlys would". And so we did. My niece (aptly nicknamed Sally Draper) brought me Dark-n-Stormies by the pool- without any regard for what time it was.


Near the end of our spectacular trip, residing at a jewel of an historic home overlooking Hamilton Harbor, my family staged nothing less than an intervention with me. "We feel that you belong here". Why not live in Bermuda?


The analytical side of my brain knows all of the obstacles that could arise (job, work permit, cost of living, bad hair days-everyday), yet my loved ones took a unanimous vote that I should, at least, explore the idea.


And so it is, that just three weeks after my departure FROM Bermuda, I shall return...


Follow me, as I view the islands through a completely different lens, leaving the hurried tourist and 'cruise director' inclinations at home. 

Maybe I am destined to become the new and evolved Shirley Valentine?  

We shall see!


Comments

  1. Yes....on all if it. Bermudian Paprikash, has a nice sound to it...

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are a trail blazer!! I admire you and your courage...xoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  3. Aww your story warms my heart.... I hope you get to work and reside in bermuda until your next story!
    Your bermuda Elton John Girl 😉

    ReplyDelete

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